Bloomberg: Global Warming Is More Dangerous Than Al Qaeda!
New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg on Monday said that Global Warming poses a greater threat to the human race than terrorism.
"We may be experiencing extremely cold Weather right now," Bloomberg told reporters, "but you and I both know that Global Warming is hiding out there somewhere, laying in ambush, and merely waiting for the opportune time to attack us."
Bloomberg said that the Department Of Homeland Security should begin shifting its focus away from Global Terrorism and start focusing "on the real enemy, Global Warming".
"No one really knows if Al Qaeda has infiltrated the US or not," Bloomberg said. "But we do know with certainty that Global Warming has already arrived on our shores, and has simply chosen to remain dormant until it receives a directive from the hierarchy high above to attack us."
Bloomberg also suggested that the recent snow storms and cold weather could simply be a ploy by Global Warming to lull the American people into complacency before it unleashes a full-fledged attack against the US.
"I wouldn't be surprised at all if all this freezing weather is merely a crafty stratagem on the part of Global Warming." Bloomberg said, "in order to trick us into thinking that she's actually been defeated. But then suddenly, BOOM, she'll appear out of nowhere, and lo and behold, we'll all be incinerated - may the Lord have mercy on us all!"
Meanwhile, former Vice President, Al Gore today speculated that "President Bush's reluctance to confront Global Warming may have already cost the nation dearly".
"Perhaps President Bush will wake up one day and decide to confront Global Warming once and for all," Gore told a group of Greenpeace activists today. "But by then, the entire Earth will already be so warm, I'm afraid we'll never be able to experience the soothing sensation of a freezing cold winter day again."
"We must wage a pre-emptive war against Global Warming now," Gore asserted, "otherwise, those blissful, freezing days of yore will simply fade into a distant memory, never to return again for all of eternity. May the Lord have mercy on us all!" Del.icio.us I DiggIt!
"We may be experiencing extremely cold Weather right now," Bloomberg told reporters, "but you and I both know that Global Warming is hiding out there somewhere, laying in ambush, and merely waiting for the opportune time to attack us."
Bloomberg said that the Department Of Homeland Security should begin shifting its focus away from Global Terrorism and start focusing "on the real enemy, Global Warming".
"No one really knows if Al Qaeda has infiltrated the US or not," Bloomberg said. "But we do know with certainty that Global Warming has already arrived on our shores, and has simply chosen to remain dormant until it receives a directive from the hierarchy high above to attack us."
Bloomberg also suggested that the recent snow storms and cold weather could simply be a ploy by Global Warming to lull the American people into complacency before it unleashes a full-fledged attack against the US.
"I wouldn't be surprised at all if all this freezing weather is merely a crafty stratagem on the part of Global Warming." Bloomberg said, "in order to trick us into thinking that she's actually been defeated. But then suddenly, BOOM, she'll appear out of nowhere, and lo and behold, we'll all be incinerated - may the Lord have mercy on us all!"
Meanwhile, former Vice President, Al Gore today speculated that "President Bush's reluctance to confront Global Warming may have already cost the nation dearly".
"Perhaps President Bush will wake up one day and decide to confront Global Warming once and for all," Gore told a group of Greenpeace activists today. "But by then, the entire Earth will already be so warm, I'm afraid we'll never be able to experience the soothing sensation of a freezing cold winter day again."
"We must wage a pre-emptive war against Global Warming now," Gore asserted, "otherwise, those blissful, freezing days of yore will simply fade into a distant memory, never to return again for all of eternity. May the Lord have mercy on us all!" Del.icio.us I DiggIt!
posted by Postman at
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
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