Thursday, May 1, 2008

Obama Distances Himself From Obama

Saying he was deeply ashamed of his past ties to Rev. Jeremiah Wright, Bill Ayers and a host of other hideous miscreants, Barack Obama announced on Thursday that he was officially distancing himself from himself.

Obama said he'd made the desicion to split paths with himself shortly after learning about his ties to Rev. Wright and Mr. Ayers.

"Knowing what I know now about myself and my heinous past," Obama said, "I can not possibly continue this relationship with myself any longer."

"Hence," Obama continued, "let it be known to one and all, that effective as of today, I am officially disowning myself for good."

However, Obama's alter ego, who's reportedly split with Obama over the matter, warned reporters on Wednesday that he was "not about to close up shop anytime soon".

"Not only will I not disown my heinous circle of friends," he warned, "but I will soon ascend to the Presidency and begin meeting with the biggest devil of 'em all - Iranian President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad." I DiggIt!